Monday, March 12, 2012
Stay Open....Lightening Could Strike
I was home this weekend…all weekend….which was a very nice break from traveling and working parties. I had the time to pull weeds from my front yard landscaping, trim bushes, and just spruce the yard up in prep for spring. I did all my laundry, washed my sheets and generally got my home life back in order. I had a big stack of firewood I had cut this past October and had it stacked on the back patio. I had placed it there for ease of hauling it inside to the fireplace or burning it in the fire pit on the patio. As I was moving the firewood I thought about the day I had cut up the trees…..5 months ago and what was going through my head at that time. I was totally hung up on a guy…. I purposely drove around town in my sister’s truck with a chainsaw asking people who had trees down in the yard if I could cut up the trees and have the firewood. I was trying to do something nice so that if this guy ever did showed up…..we could make a fire and do something romantic together, make smores, and generally bask in the glowing warmth (mushy and romantic I know :/ ) Well long story short I ended up with a pile of un-used firewood. Not a bad thing…I can always use it next winter. This leads me to my thought of today…..actually just a bunch of advice based on my experience. Meeting someone on a party weekend and thinking you know them is setting yourself up for heartbreak. SLOW DOWN….take the time…MONTHS….to observe them, see their reactions, their actions, the way they handle situations, how reliable is their word…don’t give your trust away. Are you even really compatible with this person….or did the vacation atmosphere just make it seem perfect? Date until you are absolutely nailed down. Ok…yes…you and Mr. Right had an amazing time at Gay Days…I get it…after one weekend full of drugs and dancing you are certain he is the “ONE”. At the same time if another guy asks you on a date…GO….you never know lightening could strike. You are single until you are taken and by all means date until you are taken. Actions……I don’t give a flip what sweet nothings he whispers into your ear. …what amazing things he fills your day with via text…how many cute pics he sends you. The real test is his actions. Are you making all the effort? Does he call you? Has he come to see you? Is he willing to go out of his comfort zone and do things that you like? The best relationship advice I have ever gotten came in the form of a quote from my friend Joel…it goes like this: “I’ve learned that time is the relationship healer….going out and meeting/dating other guys mends wounds. There are some fucking awesome people and sweethearts out there…..if the one you are with isn’t…..don’t waste your time because you are?” In short be open, flexible, listen, and observe. Make trust be earned…stay open…and give what is important time.