Carnival-Laissez les bon temps rouler

My photo
The only thing you truly own is your own mind, body, and soul. So as you go through these 8 to 10 short decades don't hold back cause its your decades!

Monday, October 24, 2011

Mais......It's once again time for Nolita to twinkle in my eyes.

Halloween New Orleans 28 (HNO28) starts this Thursday Oct 27th. I will be working at Oz again....4th time this year. I can't wait. Never before have I prepared so many dancing costumes with special effects. But thats the spirit of New Orleans and with all the creative juices there I am sure to underwhelm...but nonetheless it will be great. The main party is Saturday..
Some friends and I have been feverishly working on our costumes. We based our entire idea on a photo shoot with the Hause of Exterface.
I promise pics are to follow the trip.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

The Hearts battle with deductive reasoning.

I think one of the great decisions in life we face daily is whether we allow deductive reasoning to rule our emotions/actions or let our heart be our guide.

Deductive reasoning can lead to the truth. It's very protective. It looks at the facts, creates a real picture and if we listen will for the most part it will steer us in the right direction.

Our heart relies on a sixth sense that lives in fairyland. Butterflies, calmness, warmth, comfort, passion, emotion, something that stirs us and leaves us wanting more. Wanting one more minute, one more touch, one more eye contact, one more minute of silence feeling the moment and cherishing it for what it is.

You can't break deductive reasoning. It can be disappointing, but not breaking. You can look at a situation and come to the conclusion that its not correct without involving emotions.

The heart jumps in, full steam. Emotions may start as a drizzle and reach a full on downpour...deductive reasoning may be staring you in the face...screaming at you but you can't hear it cause the heart is raining so hard it drowns everything around you've opened up. You are vulnerable. You gave of yourself, you trusted, you let down you barrier and you stopped hiding. You may be fucked.

Not always, there are anomalies, but probably mostly the heart is going take you to the rodeo. Your heart is going to give you the time of your life and in one instance the fuel its breathing on, the energy is using to pump all the happiness into your insides can stop, it can hide, and change directions and what was so constant, so comforting can fade into the abyss.

Your heart has nothing to go on but un-answers and it still overpowers your deductive reasoning, the downpour still drowns out any thought as your heart digs deeper and deeper into that well to try to find some fuel. Eventually the downpour will fade to a drizzle, your mind will pick up and you can begin make your days good again.

Sooner or later you can roll the windows down on a nice day and drive, look at the clouds and appreciate being alive and all you still have to offer.

So how do you live, are you gonna choose deductive reasoning or your heart. As much as it hurts me I am choosing my heart. My heart may fuck me and drive me to a point so low I feel like I am stuck carrying around a brown bandana, but at the same time my heart takes me to highs I will never forget. Some moments were simple, some where complex, some happened before I knew it and and days later replayed in my head and gave me an emotional ride like no drug ever did.....but in the end thats living and I would not trade those good times for anything.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I miss him

Sometimes in life things and events happen so fast. So fast that you don't know where to put them, what folder they go in, or even what to do with your thoughts. Images and words and events all floating around in your head and where the hell do they go. All I can do now is write, I can't sleep, I can't think, I can't stop crying. This never really happened to me but I feel help less...I just miss him.

I miss seeing him for the first time,
I miss the way he came right up to me and said hello.
I miss him walking in the rain to see me,
I miss seeing him on bar and him kneeling down to say hello,
I miss spending the first night together,
I miss having our first lunch date on labor day.
I miss casually drinking the day away and romantically playing in a hot tub.
I miss him changing his flight at 4:30 in the morning just so we could spend the night together one last time.

I miss him asking me to call him on my lunch break.
I miss showing up at his house for the first time and having wine on the roof top.
I miss being handed a rose and given a kiss.
I miss cutting up potatoes and making hash browns together
I miss holding him at night.
I actually miss watching him play video games and how excited he gets about them.

I miss the sound of his voice and the special way he said my name.
I miss him making me the lock screen on his phone.
I miss his smell, I miss his eyes, I miss looking into his eyes.
I miss him telling me I was the best part of his night and how we talked every night.

I miss when he asked me to take him to Angie one day.
I miss every damn thing about him.
I miss the excitement of actually building a relationship with a great person
Most of all I miss the times when he missed me like I miss him.