Carnival-Laissez les bon temps rouler

My photo
The only thing you truly own is your own mind, body, and soul. So as you go through these 8 to 10 short decades don't hold back cause its your decades!

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

The Awkwardness of Grindr in Raleigh NC.

I have to preface this rant with a few things before I begin.  I have a home and live in Raleigh NC when I am not working in other cities across the USA.  So my experience with Grindr, Scruff, etc is either in Raleigh (sorta small) or another major metropolitain city with an actual gay scene.

So here goes......

Gay dating apps....I have them....why because I like SEX!  Because SEX is fun, natural, and a part of my existence.  Because I wanna scope out the dudes before going out and see who is in town.  Because it's like online get to see all the available treats before going to the store!

So Grindr in cities with actual gay nightlife like Miami, NYC, Chicago, DC, pretty standard. You log on and a plethora of profiles come up and it's pretty easy to find your type.  People are direct, they have actual pictures on their profiles, and they don't mistake a gay dating app for a social media site like Facebook.

However.....try logging onto Grindr in Raleigh NC.  I have never been served so much un solicited Hatorade in my life!!!!!

Constantly blank picture less profiles, landscapes, trees, pictures of diet coke cans, air conditioner vents, sidewalks, bamboo, beaches, and headless torsos try to talk to me.  WTF!?!?!?!

As stupid is that is...I can live with that...because I have no plans to send a "blank profile" a message.

What I can't live with is "blank profile" sending me a message like "sup".  I don't have anything against "sup" but for real dude....your pic is a "blank profile" can and your opener is "sup".  How about a pic of you.....because other wise WHY THE FUCK WOULD I REPLY!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Ok...that's one scenario that repeats itself over and over and over in Raleigh.  But it gets better....or worse depending on your sense of humor ;-)

After not responding to "blank profile's" "sup"  I am then labeled in a followup message from "blank profile" "you are an arrogant asshole who thinks he is better than anyone else and your are a whore!"

Are you following the level of stupidity here?!

But it doesn't stop there.  Raleigh also has a really confused self image and doesn't understand the idea of "types".

Types.....we all know what makes us hard...what makes us leak...what makes us twitch... ;-)  All of us have a certain look that we genuinely find appealing and that varies from person to person.  Not being someones type doesn't make your physically or mentally unattractive.  It shouldn't make you feel any less about yourself.  YOU ARE SIMPLY NOT THEIR TYPE!   You are still you and can get plenty play with guys who find you their type.

Tell someone in Raleigh they are not your type and all of a sudden you are labeled  a heartless bitch.  Which begs the question....have they never been rejected before?!?!?  I get rejected A LOT!  It's part of life.  I don't float everyones boat and nor do they mine.  Get used to it people and STOP the vicious name calling if someone tells you they are not interested.  It's not personal.

A wise friend once told me "For every person their is a bus that will take them there" and it's just gotta find the right bus at the stop you are currently at and sync up.  Until then relax, scroll away, and stop reacting so violently to the word "no" or a non response.


  1. funny story! and I'm sad for that sure he is either envy or jealous of you....I am and live in Rio so you know how it goes here....grindr a lot!!!!....and yes....for every tired feet there is an old shoe....and for every pan there is a cover haha ;) RIOBOY

  2. Wow, people are insane. But, I guess that's what we live with now with the faceless profiles on some of these sites. Doesn't make sense.. Let The Haters Be Your Motivators.. David~the5by5 podcast

  3. Totally Agree RioBoy!

    thanks David!

  4. On the flip side: My partner and I are honeymooning in Florida where we know no one, and we don't drink. Tried a couple of the apps to meet friends, which I figure is valid since some of the apps offer "Friendship" as an option, right? Heard from absolutely no one. Tried to touch base with a few couples, but since we're not swinging (or more), absolutely no interest whatsoever. (Sigh)

    1. Grindr is a "dating" app as much as a bathhouse is a nunnery... when you chat with a stranger for 3 minutes and receive an unsolicited dick pic "friendship" isn't what he's seeking.

      i stopped using grindr because it's too boring and ultimately depressing if you're not looking to hook up. there also seem to be many men on the DL who have no intention of "dating" since their wives/girlfriends might object...

  5. This is about to be overly self serving but I get shit like that ALL the time, ordoric

  6. Absolutely agree with you. I go to school in Raleigh and I have dealt with this guy. He sent me douchey messages because I didn't see the message right away and when I got on grindr again it was full of messages about how I am a dick. The best thing I can say is that I avoided sticking my dick in crazy.

  7. Isn't grand that he describes himself as "good guy"? It's also cute that while he's a absolutely certain of your "whorish", arrogant ways, he seems slightly obsessed with you both. Whatever whore vaccine he's injecting himself with, is not curing the crazy. Michael

  8. I won't be visiting Raleigh. unless either of you will train with me at your gym. people don't seem too nice there

  9. Duuuude....WAY too true in all of that. But I think Raleigh is more like ANY place outside of the big cities you mentioned. I'm in CA 20 miles from SF (might as well be a nuclear test site since SF guys won't travel 2 miles from where they live...but anyway) here you get the same issues. All I can say is you gave that hater much more of your time than you needed (you must have been bored that day : ) and took the high road, which I respect. I'm not into porn really and just found you through a random "web hole" but I like what I've read/seen so far so I'll check back in. Peace and have a good weekend.

  10. I laughed when I read this blog only because it's true. I live in Carson City, Nevada and it's pretty much the same here. Luckily for me I no longer have need for apps or sites like that. I am happily engaged. I wish you the best of luck while you're home in Raleigh. :)

  11. Same shit happened to me today in Greensboro. Ugggg

  12. I'd rather watch bad TV than engage a fool like that. The minute a chat get's like that, just close the window or block the idiot. ain't worth the energy.