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The only thing you truly own is your own mind, body, and soul. So as you go through these 8 to 10 short decades don't hold back cause its your decades!

Monday, April 14, 2014

Being Ginger: My analysis of the film and my experience

Last night I watched "Being Ginger" a new film by actor/director/producer Scott P. Harris.  Below is the plot summary from iTunes:

Plot Summary

"Being Ginger" is a wonderful, illuminating look into the life of the film's maker, Scott P. Harris. At first the film seems to be a comedy about a red haired man trying to find love. But through revealing moments, whimsical animation, and real interviews, a universal story arises. We are all different. We all have aspects of our lives that set us apart from the crowd and greatly affect us. In Scott's case, it's his red hair. Through captivating storytelling, we journey with Scott as he lets the viewer into his thoughts, experiences, and internal processing of how his red hair has influence over his life and how it makes him feel about himself. Finding oneself through finding love and being able to accept it can be experienced by all. So, while the film's title highlights red hair, it is about much, much more. Everyone should watch this film and reflect on what makes them 'ginger' in their own life. And, of course, give a ginger some love.
Scott P. Harris plays himself in the film.   A heterosexual male ginger now in his 30's.  During his childhood and adolescence, Scott seemed to endure lots of teasing/bullying because of his red hair.  He even claims that once a day for a year his entire class would stand up and clap because they hated him.   While that seems extreme, he even interviews the teacher in the film and yes it apparently did happen.
Scott as a person seems damaged with very low self esteem stemming from being mentally battered while he was maturing.  As an adult he seems to have not sluffed off the abuse and carries it with him...evident in the way he approaches other adults his same age.
In the film Scott interviews mostly hetero women and probes their attraction to ginger men.  It seems that most of the women he finds for the film aren't particularly turned on or attracted to ginger men.   Whether its the freckles, the dorkyness, the white eyelashes, the ginger body hair, or the negative stereotypes of ginger men...they all find some reason to explain why they are not attracted.
While this is sad and sorta expected it also validates to a certain extent Scott's low self esteem.
So I decided to write about my experience of "Being Ginger" .  I had a similar experience to Scott's up until the age of about 18-20.  In grade and middle school I was taunted with the average slurs "freckle face" "devils child", etc etc.  Which really didn't bother me that much because...I like freckles.  I didn't really start to have self esteem issues till junior high and high school.  Which isn't unique to being ginger as I would guess all kids going through puberty have insecurities.  
I had a mouth full of braces, a jaw expander, a face dimpled with acne, nappy hair, I was a little fat, and wore clothes from Wal-Mart.  So I was a very easy target lol.  Granted all of these are actually luxuries (#firstworldproblems) as many poor kids would LOVE to have braces, actual shoes, etc.  (Definitely not a pity party for myself...just recounting my experience).
On top of being ginger, I was also a closeted gay kid in a small private christian school in the deep south.  The principal actually prayed over the intercom and we had at times morning devotionals.  Needless to say I was mentally conflicted. I also lived 33 miles away from my school....which meant a 45 minute bus ride each day and no friends to play with after school.  I grew up on a horse farm and understood hard work and chores...but had a hard time with the cuntiness of my classmates.
The constant question from my classmates was about the color of my pubes.  Everyone seemed to be fascinated/grossed out at the thought that I may have ginger pubes.  I was constantly teased about it.  And my eyebrows were translucent blond...I stayed a little sunburned because of lack of sunscreen education which made my white eyebrows stand out even more...my face kinda resembled "Mr. Clean".
Junior high and high school nagged on...I wasn't hopeful about life because my experience with people were that they were assholes....mainly hetero men.  I applied to colleges far away from my hometown and went off to college after high school alone with none of my local peers attending the same one I chose.  What happened was not what I expected.  
College was totally different.  People were nice.  I was on a campus of 9,000 and I actually had the chance to choose my friends...not endure the 24 or so I was stuck in class with.  I was never taunted about my hair color or anything really...it was a completely fun, energetic, learning, and positive experience.  So the notion that I was ginger seemed to disappear and my personality as Seth emerged.
But I need to relate this back to "Being Ginger" as this is what the prose is about.  So after college I finally "officially" came out of the closet.  To parents, friends, Facebook, the whole nine yards.  I was now a gay man in graduate school.  I found love a few times and bought into the idea of owning a home, getting a 9-5, working all week, having a manicured lawn, and drinking on saturdays lol.  That lasted into my late 20's until I grew very bored of this sorta hetero model for life that myself (a gay, sexual, non-monagamous, ginger) had squeezed into.  
So in 2009 I broke into the single life and started traveling.  I started going to big gay events such as Southern Decadence, Altanta Pride, and Gay Days Disney.  What happened was astonishing.  Instead of being taunted for being ginger I was sexualized as a fantasy for so many.  People would stare as I walked by, I would hear stuff like "check out that ginger".  It was completely the opposite attention I was accustomed to receiving from hetero women.
My experience with hetero women is not amazing when it comes to mating/procreation.  On more than one occasion I have had hetero women say to me "I wanna have a baby one day...I just hope it's not a redhead".  So let's say I actually cared what hetero women thought of me...I may have ended up like Scott in the film.  When I experienced all these gay men wanting to jump my bones simply based on my hair color it was quite unexpected.  
Thus as you can imagine...I WAS DELIGHTED!  Finally I didn't feel like the ugly duckling.  All of a sudden... probably about the year 2010...being ginger in the gay world was like being a top in DC or a bottom in Miami  #lucky!
That's when my experience really began to diverge from Scotts...when I embraced and owned my sexuality.  I am REALLY glad I am gay because its so much damn fun!   I contacted Scott and asked him to interview me if he does a follow up film about being ginger.  I also suggested that he include other sexualities in his next film so the audience can get a full idea of what being ginger is like for all sexualities. 
Now I'd like your input!  Are you a hetero person...what do you think of gingers, ginger babies, ginger pubes, etc?  Are you a homo person...what do you think of gingers?
xoxo,
Seth Fornea



14 comments:

  1. In the most recent cycle of hot men in print and media, my interest in men with red hair has certainly been stoked by the re-emergence of Erich Lange, the development of Blu Kennedy and of course Prince Harry. Obviously men with red hair, their degree of attractiveness is as varied as the flowers in an early morning market. Generalizations don't often withstand the test of time. However, I have seen children's unkind bullying of red-haired children, just as I have seen the bullying of other groups as well. As you note, as one grows older, one comes across an attractive member of a group one might have written off in one's callow youth. And that attractive member will open the eyes of the close-minded, and where one might have seen ugliness, now one sees hotness. In my callow youth, I might have only found blonde men the only option, but now in the thick of middle age, I find hot men in virtually every group, blonde, brunette, ginger, bald, smoothe, hirsute, White, Asian, Black and many other ethnicities.

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  2. Seth,
    My son has strawberry blonde hair and is known for being a ginger. He's been brought up to think his hair is unique and amazing. I remember when he was a little boy often in conversation he would say,"Do you know only 3% of the world has red hair?" He is smart, handsome, compassionate and I couldn't be more proud of him.

    I came out when he was quite young but he always lets me know he loves me.Now in high school, he continues to have that gorgeous hair and a heart that matches. I loved reading this blog.

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    1. That makes me so happy to hear! Good luck to you and your son!

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    2. Hey Seth, I am hetero female and I really LOVE ginger guys!! (I prefer them straight for obvious reasons). You are absolutely gorgeous!!

      My "first" sexual experience was with a ginger guy and I have loved them ever since. My current boy toy is only 22 -- a little shy and lacking confidence. He is a very sexy ginger cub with an amazing body, I can't understand why he's so self-conscious?? I am working on building his confidence all around and enjoying every minute of him-- his grin, his abs, and his ginger pubes. (I'm 47, so it's a win/win for both of us getting our needs met...)

      I totally appreciate a good looking ginger/redhead. If I saw you out and about I would definitely give you a little wink!! Thanks for sharing today!

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  3. Hey Seth,
    I finally took a minute to read your post and found it to be very well written. Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful perspective. As an African American gay male, I have certainly experienced my share of objectification in both good and bad ways. I try like hell not to do that to others and to take the time to know what a person is all about inside as well as what they present outside. I have always fancied Gingers although I have never had the pleasure of being with one myself. Not sure where the attraction stems from, but I certainly enjoy it and am not embarrassed to admit it. I find you strikingly handsome and have enjoyed learning more about you as a person from your various social media outlets. Besides being physically amazing, I now find you even more attractive as I learn what makes you tick.

    I had very little experience with Gingers growing up, but your story and the remarks in the other posts make sense. Kids can be very cruel and I applaud people like you who find their inner strength and beauty despite the circumstances of their upbringing. It ain't easy and you should be proud of yourself. The subject of the movie you discussed is the other extreme. It's sad, but I hope his journey does improve and take him to a better place. There are plenty of men and women who will love and appreciate him, and any Ginger, for who they are. Thanks again for your honesty and candidness.

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    1. Thank you for your wonderful outlook!

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  4. As a bisexual black male, two things will make me see guys in a completely different light from others. If they are hairy or not (beard, hairy chest and stomach -developed or not- and I'm all over you) and if they are redheads. Red hair especially just has a power over me that other guys just will not have. It's like a chill or shock goes through my skin. I especially like the sharp dark red kind of redhead (like Seth's or actor Tony Curran). It's gotten to the point I think I can "sense" red hair like Spider-Man, I can tell when someone has dyed their hair or is not a real redhead. Sort of weird really.

    I even like, what I call, the "redhead personality" which is a glaring opposite of what is considered a "blond personality". Forthright, bold, smart (doesn't have to be overly so), and (once you break them out of their shells) quite fearless. Of course, it could also be that Scottish and Irish guys tend to be the guys who I love the most and they tend to have those personalities. I also think that a person who goes through the whatever it is they do normally understands what it is like to be judged and as such, avoids doing to others what has been done; that itself breeds a better person (not sure people should have to suffer for this to happen and no one should). It is good with the way the world is to see a better stock of people rise up.

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  6. First off there are gingers on both sides of my family. Looking back at some of my baby photos it’s plain to see I had red hair till I was 5 at which point it started to change, first to blonde then later on to dark brown.
    My first cousin and I were only 6 months apart in age, he was funny and made me laugh from the very beginning. When others made fun of his nappy red hair I found it most perplexing, I had always thought it to be beautiful, my cousin is gay also. I'm not sure why I was always so attracted to ginger types but after my divorce and taking custody of one of my three children I tried to build relationships with a hand full of ginger guys I’d met, all of which had some kind of issue rendering them unable to remain monogamous. I stopped looking for gingers and found the best guy ever, we’ll be together 26 years come October. Being old enough to be your Dad I still enjoy reading about, watching, and listening to gingers both male and female. At my age I worry I’ll get in a car accident when seeing ginger men jogging on the side walk, my heart can only take so much. I can’t wait to see the movie, where can I get a copy?

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  7. I'd just like to say, I was not familiar with the term "ginger" and first heard it used within the last 10 years (I'm in my 50's). I thought it was appalling that this was a derogatory term used about a group of people I hadn't given a second thought to as to their difference to other people. Personally, I have had many friends who I guess I can describe as "gingers" (hate that term) who I NEVER felt were any less than myself in any way (I'm brown-haired myself... well, maybe a bit more gray than that now, lol), and if anything, I felt if they had unique-colored pubes or armpit hair, that it looks rather nice compared to my dull, brownish fur.

    Please let it be known that there are many others, like myself, who consider those using the term "ginger" in a negative connotation as truly the weirdoes and outcasts. And if anything, having recently discovered the handsome beauty that is Seth Fornea, I'd just like to say that you are truly a great-looking guy and that your body fur is an amazing asset!! I know I went through my own problems of acceptance growing up (especially in junior high school) and there was a lot of hurt and self-shame involved, but I'm sorry you had to go through any additional humiliations because of your hair color by ignorant people. Actually, I hesitate to call them "people"! lol

    P.S. If I EVER get my screenplay written -- can't give you details because God knows, some people have no imagination or original ideas of their own 'out there' -- I'd like you to be in the film. It won't be a starring role -- those are locked in (my mind! lol) already, but definitely want you to have a role that guys (and women!) will be talking about after the movie ends! lol

    Sincerely, John from Michigan... :)

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  8. My experience with gingers is I could have married one. My cousin is one. I have one friend who has very long, the perfect shade of red hair, thick, and beautiful. He's amazing.One of my friends had two amazing ginger children. You are absolutely a very talented and attractive man. I post one of your pictures and I get, "You know I've never been attracted to red heads but he's gorgeous!" Keep up the good work of representing gingers, gay men and simply being gorgeous. Your writing in this short piece was an easy read. You might try writing a book I'd buy it.

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  9. Hey Seth. I'm from Costa Rica. Here, most people have dark hair (including myself), although my mom and one of my sisters are redheads (coppery blond more than carrot top). I have to say, I find ginger men really attractive. I have the biggest crush on Prince Harry! LOL. That's why when I saw one of your pictures on Tumblr I fell for you as well. The fact that you are gay only makes you more appealing (I'm weird that way). So, I don't know, maybe it's an acquired taste, but from my point of view, baby, wear that red mop of yours proudly (and your head hair is fine, too. LOL). Say hi to you lovely hubby for me. If you guys ever feel like coming to my country, let me know, I can be your official translator and guide. There's a great gay scene here.

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  10. Seth,

    I am a 100% heterosexual female who thinks you're the sexiest ginger i have ever seen! I think your red hair, skin tone, and rock hard muscles are a perfect combination, and if you were straight, i would be honored to have a ginger baby with you!! I wish i was a gay man so that i could fully enjoy you!! Gingers are the hottest in bed!

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